...I'm heartbroken...
Oct. 1st, 2010 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a1y_puffAnd I blame Hoshino. Like, really? REALLY? When Mandy (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
harmony283) told me the spoilers yesterday...well. Yesterday was kind of hectic. I had tons of workload it's not even funny. And then I heard about the spoilers that--that...well. Needless to say, I felt like crying and basically, I went all "I NEED TO REMEDY THIS NAO" at Mandy, and then she wrote THIS ALLEN/KANDA FIC for me over skype. Go check it out, it's reeeaaaally cute and amusing AND lavi's POV is just <3
so yeah. I called Isu (isumi_ilde and instead of a 'hello', I got a wail of despair. Yeah, she's actually read the spoilers on LJ n was equally heartbroken (if not more) by it. She said she wouldn't read the new chapter until I read it amd deem it safe. Mandy said the actual chapter is SO MUCH BETTER but I still dare not read it. (not that I can, since I will have to wait till Monday to use the office's internet) but yeah. I'll have to repare myself...I think >.>
anyway.
On a non-fandom note, I just got a new bag for work! Yay? Bought it last night. It's a white, Guess bag. Was on a 50% off discount and Dad still had to pay half of it (damn expensive bag :/) because otherwise I will not even look at that bag. Not with my salary, lol. I just bought three new clothes for work and would've been broke if dad didn't pay half of it for me. I still need to buy other stuff too, so.
Aaaaand I think my PC at the office has virus. It messed up with my phone's MicroSD card and I have to reformat it now. And refill it with songs and vids again. Meh :/
well.. I think that's all for now. This week is rather tiring and I'm going to be a lazy ass today. I actually had wanted to write but--my poor muse is sulking due to the heartbreak >.>;
ETA: so maybe I won't be too heartbroken. Mandy just told me the spoilers make Kanda leaving with Alma seem so final and like they're leaving for good, but it's not like that in the chapter. She said: Yeah basically. But the thing is the spoilers made it sound final. in the chapter/scanlation it sounds more like they're just going somewhere quiet so Alma can die (Allen only says goodbye to Alma). So it's...sort of a dying wish for Kanda to be there with Alma when Alma dies (and Allen's so badass with the way he helps them into the ark and is like "D<" if anyone tries to get past him). I think we'll have to wait till the next chapter to know for sure...but think about how likely it is that Hoshino will really shove such a popular character aside XD;; (I mean he got first place in a poll by NOT BEING THERE so XD) so yeah I definitely don't think he'll be gone for long *it just depends on how long it takes Alma to...pass away* ......the whole chapter /was/ really sweet (it also looks like Allen's blushing when Kanda says his name in one panel. That may just be me but *pokes* XD)
Oh, Mandy, you made me feel so much better now XD So yeah. I'll read the actual chapter on Monday at the office and see for myself. *nods.*
harmony283) told me the spoilers yesterday...well. Yesterday was kind of hectic. I had tons of workload it's not even funny. And then I heard about the spoilers that--that...well. Needless to say, I felt like crying and basically, I went all "I NEED TO REMEDY THIS NAO" at Mandy, and then she wrote THIS ALLEN/KANDA FIC for me over skype. Go check it out, it's reeeaaaally cute and amusing AND lavi's POV is just <3so yeah. I called Isu (
isumi_ilde and instead of a 'hello', I got a wail of despair. Yeah, she's actually read the spoilers on LJ n was equally heartbroken (if not more) by it. She said she wouldn't read the new chapter until I read it amd deem it safe. Mandy said the actual chapter is SO MUCH BETTER but I still dare not read it. (not that I can, since I will have to wait till Monday to use the office's internet) but yeah. I'll have to repare myself...I think >.>anyway.
On a non-fandom note, I just got a new bag for work! Yay? Bought it last night. It's a white, Guess bag. Was on a 50% off discount and Dad still had to pay half of it (damn expensive bag :/) because otherwise I will not even look at that bag. Not with my salary, lol. I just bought three new clothes for work and would've been broke if dad didn't pay half of it for me. I still need to buy other stuff too, so.
Aaaaand I think my PC at the office has virus. It messed up with my phone's MicroSD card and I have to reformat it now. And refill it with songs and vids again. Meh :/
well.. I think that's all for now. This week is rather tiring and I'm going to be a lazy ass today. I actually had wanted to write but--my poor muse is sulking due to the heartbreak >.>;
ETA: so maybe I won't be too heartbroken. Mandy just told me the spoilers make Kanda leaving with Alma seem so final and like they're leaving for good, but it's not like that in the chapter. She said: Yeah basically. But the thing is the spoilers made it sound final. in the chapter/scanlation it sounds more like they're just going somewhere quiet so Alma can die (Allen only says goodbye to Alma). So it's...sort of a dying wish for Kanda to be there with Alma when Alma dies (and Allen's so badass with the way he helps them into the ark and is like "D<" if anyone tries to get past him). I think we'll have to wait till the next chapter to know for sure...but think about how likely it is that Hoshino will really shove such a popular character aside XD;; (I mean he got first place in a poll by NOT BEING THERE so XD) so yeah I definitely don't think he'll be gone for long *it just depends on how long it takes Alma to...pass away* ......the whole chapter /was/ really sweet (it also looks like Allen's blushing when Kanda says his name in one panel. That may just be me but *pokes* XD)
Oh, Mandy, you made me feel so much better now XD So yeah. I'll read the actual chapter on Monday at the office and see for myself. *nods.*
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 03:58 am (UTC)That aside, well. I am dead. In many ways. Still a bit heartbroken, but at least it's amended, a little. I wonder where Hoshino's going to take this, but that aside, MY MUSE HAS COME BACK AND I SHOULD CELEBRATE.
Kanda's smile is made of WIN, yeah? xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Will read the fic after I take a shower. Seriously, my Mom's yelling already. *sighs*
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 08:59 am (UTC)*waves from her corner of the world* I'm back after my internship, so I finally have normal access to the interwebz. I was so relaxed at Okinawa that didn't even mind my apartment didnt have connection LOL
Uggh...but I come back and start going over DGM from chapter 197 to 199...and what is THIS? WHAT IS THIS?! Okay, I must say that everything since chapter 194 or something...I wasn't liking it much. I don't know, I felt cheated. All Kanda's Arc suddenly turned into a big creepy circus and I hated the Earl and how the Noahs were depicted and I even cringed at the appearance of the 14th. Oh dear lord, could someone please remove from the ecuation all these distractions and give me my dose of unadultered Kanda story?
*I was pissed LOL because I am so biased towards Kanda that, well, even Alma was starting to bother me LOL LOL*
But chapter 199 has started to heal my fangirl-wounds! Finally Kanda is acting like Kanda again! Although that smile at the end was a bit OOC, but I think after all the crap that the boy went through, he deserves a moment to give a smirk/smile to Allen. AND THANK GOD that Allen started acting intelligently again. Instead of interrupting everything every five minutes, I love how he defered to Kanda and helped them get away (sounds weird, as if Kanda and Alma are eloping LOL)
Still I find myself with conflicting feelings over this. Kanda and Alma are soulmates, as in canon now. That is...odd, for my inner fangirl that usually pairs Kanda with Allen and/or Lavi. But I guess this was looming in the horizon since like 4 months ago. Well, I have thought about this for a while since reading the chapter, and I guess my conclusion is this: Kanda and Alma were the definition of true, pure feelings of children love and companionship. And it is implied that Kanda loved, as a man loves a woman, the person who Alma was before.
But what now? Kanda still seems ready to love Alma at discovering this truth, but I think...I think (at the risk of sounding cruel) that it is better for Alma to pass away. It is closure on too complex feelings and corrupted lives, since both the Earl and the Church contributed to destroy any possible relationship Kanda and Alma could have had.
You know, Ali-chan, that even if Kanda were to die in this arc, that would also feel more like cleansing and closure, than cruelty. I mean, when I read the 199 chapter, I was almost crying, because for a moment it FELT as if Kanda was dying and Allen was saying good bye.
And though my heart was breaking at it, I thought it was not such a bad thing to happen.
But then again, I love Kanda forever and ever (LOL fangirling) and thus I'd love him to live, too.
AND STILL there are so many things I haven't completely understood. Who was he before all this? The importance of the lotus is only related to the memories of that-woman-Alma? What about the mark/om on his chest?
Anyway, I also wanted to tell you this: I've got for you some TennisNoO doujinshi har har har since like 3 months ago XDDDD Sorry that I haven't mailed it yet, will do so in short time! Mind if you PM your address to me again?
*sends lots of love*
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 09:15 am (UTC)Gotta love Hoshino for still !!! feeding the Yullen fangirls love, what with the last scenes between Kanda and Allen there!
*wont go into detail until you read the chapter, dear* XDDD
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 12:06 pm (UTC)hehe, sorry. Good to see you again though. I missed you <3
aaaand. I haven't read it, yeah, but I kind of know what's going on. Not entirely, but...did you mean the last scene between Kanda and Allen where Kanda said his name and smiled, or--?
Aaaand. Yeah. This ark got me pissed for a bit there. And yeah, Alma bothered me. The woman inside him even /more/ but yeah. I did fangirl over chapter 197 like whoa because Kanda is stabbing Allen with his sword *cough cough* and I just oved it so much that I wrote a fic out of it and--it got pretty popular on ffnet that I got over 30 reviews for a oneshot. I was surprised XD
buuut. I think Alma's gonna die soon, and yes it'd be cruel but I would like it better if Alma would just /die/ already. And it's not only because I hate it that he gets in the way of Allen and Kanda, what with me being a biased fangirl and all, but yeah. It would be a better closure for Kanda's past. Like he'd finally be free of that woman :/
and I DON'T WANT KANDA TO DIEEEE I'LLPROBABLY DROP DGM IF THAT HAPPENS ;A;
So yeah. Hopefully he's only going somewhere to let Alma die peacefully and then comes back. God, I need a fic where Kanda just randomly comes back, comes up to Allen and takes Mugen back,(since he left it with Allen, ne?) and Allen would be more than happy to give it back...and yeah. XD;
aaand yay! I'll pm you my address shortly :3
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 02:59 pm (UTC)I must say the KandaxAllen in me was very, very happy with this chapter. And not just because I also agree with the going-away-to-someplace-where-Alma-can-die-peacefully-and-then-Kanda-will-be-back-because-he's-awesome-like-that. There were MOMENTS. WITH CAPITAL M, YES.
And Allen. Oh Allen, you're so badass. Be still, my beating heart. I firmly believe that Allen so openly declaring he won't allow neither the Order nor the Noahs to interfere with those two is the ermergence of the third side of the war - or, if it existed already during the time the 14th was alive, its rebirth. Or just Allen joining it, I don't know.
But anyway, yeah. I don't think there's any need for heartbreak! (....except for Alma fans. Sorry 'bout that guys.)
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 03:16 pm (UTC)*cough*
anyway. My only heartbreak is because the Kanda/Alma hints were so blatant (the hug, shit) but then again, the Yullen there is just so subtle yet so strong, so yeah. I'm happy. A luttle afraid coz we still don't know for sure if Kanda would come back, but--he WOULD, right? RIGHT? D:
...Allen kniws where he's going anyway, lol.
And yeah, I do think this might be the start of the 3rd side of the war. Kanda surely has had enough of the order but he'd still want the Earl dead, so he'd join in, ne? And who knows, Cross might be preparing for it ever sincce his mysterious disappearance. Aaaand yeah. Shit, I want to know where this is going. Soon!
But before that, I want a Kanda-coming-back-and-take-Mugen-back-from-Allen fic :/
no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 03:33 pm (UTC)...the KandaxAlma hints didn't bother me too much once I was convinced Alma was going to die. Awful of me, I know, but I can't help it. I also couldn't help putting the fangirl goggles on and seeing Alma's comment to Allen as permission. Or at least approval. I'm a very bad person.
AND I TOO WANT SUCH A FIC. I WANT IT SO BAD. I imagine Kanda coming back some time later, like when he did back at the beginning of the Noah's ark arc, when he showed up in Japan - only this time, he'd come back when Allen and the others, now in the third side of the war, needed help. And Kanda would show up all fine and glorious and awesome and save the day. (and I'd also squeal if allen started walking around with Mugen constantly on his hip until the day Kanda came back. I seriously would.)
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:05 pm (UTC).....i want that so bad now. Damn you and your ideas ;A;
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:12 pm (UTC)Allen carrying Mugen around, cleaning it, being careful where he puts it and who touches it~ Hmmmmm~
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-02 04:32 pm (UTC)(no promises of greatness, though)
(or of anything, really. clearly, i'm not to be trusted)
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:50 pm (UTC)Mou. *pouts*.
Then--how about we both attempt to write it? If we both can actually finish it, then it's great, ne? More cuteness for the fandom XD
....though I also am not sure how well or--soon I can write it. So yeah. Let's do this? XD
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:59 pm (UTC)*is writing already*
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Date: 2010-10-02 05:10 pm (UTC)...and besides, I would need to read the actual chapter first, so--I'll just be cheering on you for now 8D
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Date: 2010-10-02 05:14 pm (UTC)I'm going on a major speculative rant here. third side of the war and all. besides the allen-carrying-mugen-around, i have no idea where this is going.
starting monday, i'll be waiting for yours, then! XD goodnight~
no subject
Date: 2010-10-03 03:27 am (UTC)Anyway, proof:
first attempt, second attempt.
And now I think I'm going to sleep, and that powerpoint presentation I should finish can wait for tomorrow. XD byes~
no subject
Date: 2010-10-03 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-03 06:13 am (UTC)*cough* but yeah. Saya juga besok mo banting kerjaan di kantor dan baca chapternya XD