a1y_puff: (run)
[personal profile] a1y_puff
GAAAAAAAH!! I haven't had internet for 5 days!! O___O
My mom is still unwell so I was kinda busy with housework chores.. hahah... anyway here I bring another drabbles!! enjoy :D

Title: YOUR DEAR EXISTENCE
Author: [livejournal.com profile] a1y_puff
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Characters: Tezuka Kunimitsu, Fuji Shuusuke
Genre: Overall, Angst/Romance. Don’t worry; I know you’d kill me if this has no happy ending :P
Rating: PG?
Word Count: Overall, 1617 (Wow, that’s a nice number XD;;)
Summary: A set of drabbles on Tezuka’s POV during the time he waits for Fuji to come back.
Warnings: post-series, unbetaed. Possible OOC-ness from the situation… Oh well… you’ve been warned!
Disclaimer: PoT belongs to Konomi-sensei. Tezuka and Fuji belong to each other. Prompts belong to 50scenes. Only the plot is mine xp

A/N: A sequel to Behind the Glass Window. Please read it first (and review? :D) if you haven’t. I’ve made some people cried over that fic so here is the sequel!! The main title of these drabbles came from the lyric’s translation of “Supernova” by Bump of Chicken :D
Dedicated to those who had asked, demanded, and threatening me to write the sequel XD;;


~YOUR DEAR EXISTENCE~



/ Stagnant /
Prompt: #16. Empty
Word Count: 195


---

Each day I’ve passed since I came back from the hospital feels dull. When he was around, there was always some chaos happening in the morning. One morning, he wouldn’t wake up that I had to drag him out of bed and I had to endure his grumpy attitude for the whole morning. Next time, he would put too much wasabi in our breakfast just because he felt like it, and the aftertaste would be left in my mouth for the rest of the day. At times, we ate breakfast accompanied by his never-ending teases about how he managed to make me losing myself the night before, causing me to be rather unfocused at works afterwards.

It has been almost a month I live in our apartment without him. My morning routines go smoothly without him distracting them, and I don’t need to clean up our room too often for he is the one who tends to be untidy with things.

In a way, I can almost say that life is somehow agonizingly peaceful.

Almost.

For ‘peaceful’ is not a word I can have while this empty feeling inside me is overwhelming on each passing day.

~*~



/ Dream /
Prompt: #34. Darkness
Word Count: 309


---

I miss him.

I miss him a lot that he keeps on coming to my dreams at night.

But even in my dreams, he feels so distant. Tonight is no different. He is never that far that I can still see him clearly; dressing in white with his hair gently swayed by the wind existing only around him. But no matter how far I walk to close our distance, I can never reach him. It is as if there is an invisible wall between us, just like the glass window separating me from him in that hospital.

‘It’s not the wall that is separating us,’ I hear him say.

I blink my eyes once. For however many times he has shown up in my dreams, this is the first time he actually speaks to me.

Or maybe, I’m starting to miss his voice as well.

‘It’s not any invisible wall, nor the glass window separating us, Mitsu,’ he speaks again, his tone is somehow flat and distant, and he has yet to turn his face to me.

I want to step closer but something inside me is stopping me. It is my fear, my guilt that is embracing me like a dark shadow and slowly swallowing me. In my dream, I can see this clearly; visually.

I see him stepping closer to me, but still the distance between us isn’t shortened even for the slightest bit. After a few steps, he sighs softly and reaches out a hand to point at my direction.

‘You are the one separating us,’ he whispers, and despite the distance, I can hear his voice as if whispered right to my ears.

I want to say something. I want to reach my hand out to touch him. But the shadow enveloping me is slowly putting me into a total darkness.

I can see him no more.

~*~



/ Door /
Prompt: #15. Twist
Word Count: 275


---

They have moved him into a normal patient’s room. The doctor said his condition has gotten better so there is no need to isolate him any more. I was told that it is up to him now of when he would wake up.

I remember his words in my dream, and what Yumiko-san told me about overcoming my guilt. Maybe he was right. If there is any invisible wall separating us, I probably have built it myself to escape my guilt.

I am such a coward, indeed. No wonder he wouldn’t look at my face even in my dreams.

“If you call him back… he would probably open his eyes…”

I remember Yumiko-san said that. I also have heard of external stimulation would help comatose patients to wake up. So here I am now, standing in front of the door to his room. I rest my hand on the doorknob, and stay still. I feel like my feet have rooted to the spot. Why is it so hard just to open this door and step inside?

I feel something like a soft breeze caresses my left cheek, and I promptly turn my head. I’m in a hallway and it’s rather impossible for a wind to pass by… or maybe, the air conditioning system gets a little too strong. I divert my gaze back to my left hand still holding the doorknob. I feel doubts starting to invade my heart.

Have I the right to face him?

‘You are the one separating us…’ I hear his voice echoes in my head.

Steeling myself, I twist the knob and the door clicks open.

I will stop running away.

~*~



/ Presence /
Prompt: #22. Hope
Word count: 311


---

Opening the window, I let the sunlight slip into the room, and let the morning breeze in. He may still breathing with the oxygen mask, but I believe he would like some fresh air in.

It’s been three days since I start spending nights here, and he has yet to open his eyes. It was probably foolish of me, but I did hope he would wake up at once if I call his name.

I should have known it won’t be that easy.

I glance at my wristwatch; I still have about fifteen minutes before I go to work, so I sit down on the chair next to his bed and spend the first few minutes watching him. His face is still as serene as ever, even with the oxygen mask attached to it. I reach my hand out to stroke his disheveled hair, and sigh.

“Shuusuke,” I call him as I look to those closed eyelids, silently hoping that they will open and reveal the hidden cerulean orbs beneath.

There is no reaction.

“I’m sorry for running away… please wake up,” I say as I lower my head to kiss the strands of hair between my fingers.

Still, there is no reaction.

After a moment, I stand up and grab my bag and coat. I glance at his unconscious form once more, before finally walk to the door.

As my left hand makes contact with the doorknob, a soft breeze blows pass me from behind. I immediately turn my head and find the curtain is swayed by the wind. For a split-second, I thought I saw him standing before the open window, but then his lifeless form in bed confirms that it was but a mere illusion.

I gently shake my head and step out of the door.

Somehow, I feel like maybe, I will just have to wait for a little longer.

~*~



/ Gentle Hands /
Prompt: #43. Hands
Word count: 211


---

Sometimes, I think that his room is a bit windy. I often feel a soft breeze lingers around me while I sit by his bed. At times, when I have trouble sleeping on the sofa, another breeze would pass me by; stroking my face, tousling my hair a little, and before I knew it, I would fall asleep.

I am soon being accustomed with the comforting breeze. I know I am making no sense, but the soft breeze feels like gentle hands caressing me whenever it blows pass me. I don’t know where I got this kind of imagination. Perhaps, he has affected me that much.

I glance at the pale hand laid on his stomach. Slowly, I bring my hand to cover his, and sigh. His hand feels thinner by each day, and it’s almost losing its color too.

Yet his hands are still really soft.

I tighten my grip as my guilt starts to assault me once more. I made him this way. It was my fault. If only I was more careful…

I blink as a breeze suddenly lingers around my hand. It does feel like someone’s hand is covering mine.

A wistful smile formed on my lips.

May I think that it is your hand covering mine?

~*~



/ Your Smile /
Prompt: #09. Tears
Word Count: 317


---

Come morning, I’m awake to the sunlight peeks between the curtains. I blink a few times and then I realize I’ve been holding his hand all night long. I’m about to stand up and straightening my back muscles when I feel his hand twitches in mine.

Abruptly, I spin my head to look at his face. Unconsciously, I bring my other hand to hold his hand, and after calming myself down, I try to call his name.

“Shuusuke,” I say softly. I can see movements in his lids, and so I try once again, “Shuusuke, please wake up…”

His brows twitching a few times, before finally, his eyelids begin to slowly flutter open, revealing the blue of his eyes that I’ve been missing like forever.

“Shuusuke,” I call him once again, and this time, his eyes are finally focused on me. I feel his hand’s twitching in my hands, and I tighten my grips and gently bring his hand to my lips as I close my eyes in relief.

His hand is gently breaking free from my grasp, and slowly creeping up my cheek, wiping a stray droplet of tears I’ve unconsciously shed.

“Shuusuke, I’m sorry,” I begin. Words of apology are swirling in my head, but none of them would properly flow out. Somehow, I can only stutter, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I…”

Then, I feel his forefinger is weakly pressed against my lips.

I divert my eyes to his, and I can somehow tell from his eyes that he wants me to stop apologizing; that those words are not the ones he wants to hear.

Behind the oxygen mask, I can see his lips curl up in a weak smile. Finally understanding what I need to say to him, I once again take his hand in mine as I smile back at him and whisper, “Welcome home.”

And his smile grows wider.

‘I’m home…’


-NeverEnding-



A/N: This fic was pretty difficult to write. Often, I’ve spent lots of time just staring at my monitor, wondering what to write. Tezuka’s POV really is such a headache!! I hope I did fine with his POV… @_@
I also hope you all enjoyed this, and as always, reviews would be really, REALLY loved! *bows*

Date: 2008-07-02 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pat-ace87.livejournal.com
O_O SEQUEL **SCREAMS WILDLY**XDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved it, specially how you incorporated the whole wind idea into it, I really LOVED those parts XXXDDDDDD!!!!!!!! Oh and yes ..... SEQUEL XXXXOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Date: 2008-07-02 08:00 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (run)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Yes, here's the sequel!! finally!! eheheh...
I'm really glad you enjoyed this :D
a very encouraging first-comment you gave me XD;;
thanks for reading :D

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Date: 2008-07-02 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reader-a.livejournal.com
I understand that it was difficult to write.
Its much easier just writing fluff and happiness.
good job!

Date: 2008-07-02 08:01 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (memories)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
it was such a headache *nods*
thanks for reading, glad you liked it :D

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Date: 2008-07-02 08:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilovefuji-xx.livejournal.com
EFGREJNIUHIUSHJHDHKDIJOWO!!!!

*SCREAMS INCOHERENTLY*

KYAAAAA! YOU TOTALLY PUT ME OUT OF MY OSHIGAKU MOOD THAT I HAD FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. I NOW WANT TO GO AND FIND MORE TEZUFUJI FLUFF! *FLAILS HAPPILY*

Err yeah. Sorry for all the caps locking... Haven't spoken to you in a while, I've been outstation and having practice everyday =.=

Date: 2008-07-02 08:59 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Default)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Waiiii~! so glad you like it! now, you won't have Sanad bitch-slapping me ne? XD
And I'm happy I made you into TezuFuji mood <333

yes, it's been a while ne? I myself barely get on line these days >.<

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Date: 2008-07-02 08:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacuma811.livejournal.com
That was beautiful! And such a lovely ending! I'm glad you didn't kill Fuji!
Tezuka's POV is indeed difficult, but you did a good job!

"May I think that it is your hand covering mine?"

I felt like Fuji was dead, but I love this sentence. Really beautiful.

Date: 2008-07-02 09:10 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Fuji)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Thanks nn! I'm glad you liked it :D
yes, it was a real headache for me >.<

hahah, sorry if I made him looks dead XD;;
but I'm glad you liked it :D

Date: 2008-07-02 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vierblith-tefu.livejournal.com
THAT WAS JUST LOVELY!!! ♥♥♥ I was just in so much need for angst (with a happy ending) you see so that was a totally awesome read for a very sick vierblith.

Two thumbs up for Tezuka and Fuji who love each other so much. I want to write angst too.

Date: 2008-07-03 06:26 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (more)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
w00ts~! I'm glad to provide what you need!
and aww, you're sick? hope you'll get better soon! go have some TezuFuji-ness, and you'll get better XD
thanks sooo much for reading, glad you liked it ^_________^

Then write one! but of course, with a happy (or leaning towards happy) ending :D

Date: 2008-07-02 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elanielyn.livejournal.com
Ehms...

Saya suka skali cerita anda!

And that was all I can say in indonesian... Did I write it right? =S I asked a boy I met recently but I'm not sure... =S
Sorry for any mistakes ^^U

Well, I loved that. Poor Tezuka... I like that thing about the breeze ^^

Date: 2008-07-03 06:28 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Triangle)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Hahah, you said that right!! it's just the 'skali' is supposed to be spelled 'sekali', but we often took out the 'e' for non-academic/formal use :D
You met an Indonesian boy or the boy speaks Indonesian? :D
anyway, thanks for reading! glad you like the 'breeze' part XD

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Date: 2008-07-02 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jingy5.livejournal.com
*sigh* that was jus so.. ahh!!! i cant even describe it
thanks for the happy ending tho
oo it was soo cute.. the wind and gentle hands *sigh*

Date: 2008-07-03 06:29 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (kiss)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Whee~ thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed this :D

Date: 2008-07-02 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chibikaoruchan.livejournal.com
ARGH!! You made me choke on my apple when Tez said: "May I think it's your hand covering mine?" T_T I love happy endings, therefore I love this. Thank you, and Welcome back, Fuji!

Date: 2008-07-03 06:30 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (memories)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Whoops, you choked? I hope you're alright XD
why did that line make you choke, though? ^^;;
anyway, thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked it!
and yes, welcome home to Tezuka, Fuji~ <3

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Date: 2008-07-03 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elysis.livejournal.com
I was glad that Fuji's back! Though I understand why Tezuka'd agonize that much, he still shouldn't fears too much and just go see Fuji, he means everything to Fuji after all.

Date: 2008-07-03 06:31 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (more)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Yup, he's back!! :D
Hahah, Tezuka just thinks too much for his own good XD
thanks for reading :D

Date: 2008-07-03 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vicky-coow.livejournal.com
Oh...I can tell you only "I like it"
Thanks for sequeling...
please come more and more ne.

Date: 2008-07-03 07:20 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Default)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Eheheh, thanks for reading, glad you liked it :D
and sure, I'll still write more :D

Date: 2008-07-03 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paranoid-fridge.livejournal.com
Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! The Sequel! The long, long-awaited sequel! It hereeeeeeeeeeee!

^^; Great work as always, and I even though the entire concept is quite angsty I liked how it didn't go overboard (i.e. Tezuka didn't get too lost in remorseful contemplations), but the characters managed to retain their grip on reality - and anyways, I really, really adored your Tezuka.

And then of course, there's Fuji's smile at the end. I think that was one of the very best scenes I've ever read.

Thanks a lot for the fic, whatever effort it took, I think, was definetly worth it! *cheers*

Date: 2008-07-03 03:38 pm (UTC)
ext_33114: (Fuji)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Yeesss~ the sequel is here! heheh.. XD

Aww, thanks! I'm really glad you liked it. I personally don't really like 'overboard' things, made me feel emo XD;; (and I think neither Tezuka nor Fuji are emo).
Wheee~ I'm really happy you adored my Tezuka! :D
I was worried I made him too OOC here. it's almost impossible to write angst without some OOC-ness for me ^^;;

I think that was one of the very best scenes I've ever read.
Really? *blushes* thanks you then!
I was confused as how to end this, since I've heard that someone who has just wake up from coma can't really speak at first and I really don't understand medical world so I thought it's best to keep Fuji's action at minimum. thus, I only made him smile ^^;;
but I'm really happy with your comment! that means the scene give some nice effect XD

Thank you for reading this and give such a nice review! reviews like these always make me feel my efforts to write get paid off <333

Date: 2008-07-03 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] invidia92.livejournal.com
Now nothing bad will have to happen, since Fuji's woken up ^^

It made me really happy when he woke up and then when I read this passage I had a slight watery smile on my face:

Behind the oxygen mask, I can see his lips curl up in a weak smile. Finally understanding what I need to say to him, I once again take his hand in mine as I smile back at him and whisper, “Welcome home.”

That's right, Tezuka, don't wallow in guilt. Welcome him back instead.

Date: 2008-07-03 03:57 pm (UTC)
ext_33114: (memories)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Eheheh, life won't be easy for them still, but as long as they live, everything will be fine XD

and I'm glad you were touched by that paragraph. it took me five minutes of staaring balnkly at my monitor to come up with those words ^^;

And yes, it's best to welcome him back and kick the guilt out of the window XD

thanks for reading :D

Date: 2008-07-03 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eliza-natsuko.livejournal.com
i hope i'm not too late to comment ^^;
i like this a lot <3
the pov was great, the timeline was suitable and the atmosphere was just nice :D
there's another sequel? Great!!! *hops happily* :D

Date: 2008-07-03 11:32 pm (UTC)
ext_33114: (Default)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
No, of course you're not late! it's never late to comment :D
and whee~ glad you liked it x3
Hahah, there maybe a sequel... well not really a sequel but another story in this verse, but I'll write it only when I have the time XD;;
so it won't be anytime soon I suppose ^^;
thanks for reading :D

Date: 2008-07-03 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forbiden-past.livejournal.com
Akh, akhirnya membahagiakan juga >__<

Setelah kemarin sempat depresi gara-gara terlalu sedih, hehe..


And his smile grows wider.

‘I’m home…’

So sweeeettt ^_____^

Date: 2008-07-03 11:34 pm (UTC)
ext_33114: (more)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Heheh, iyah... saiia mana tega memisahkan mereka. gw terlalu cinta sama mereka, LOL.

thanks for reading, glad you liked it <33

Date: 2008-07-03 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milkyxduckie.livejournal.com
I ADORE THIS SEQUEL!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
my most favorite are Dream and Gentle Hands :3
and THE LAST ONE also xD
these are really beautiful!!!
angst with a happy ending is always nice to read =D
"May I think that it is your hand covering mine?"
I went in awe at this sentence... since we could think the breeze was really Fuji or his soul and he was really covering his hands over Tezuka's... but it can also be interpreted in another way that Tezuka was so longing for Fuji to wake up... hehe either way makes me happy ^^
*huggies*
thanks for sharing this fic with us
it's truly a beautiful one ^^

Date: 2008-07-03 11:35 pm (UTC)
ext_33114: (Default)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
w00ts~ thanks!! I'm really glad you like this <3
eheheh... "Dream" is one of my fave too x3

since we could think the breeze was really Fuji or his soul and he was really covering his hands over Tezuka's... but it can also be interpreted in another way that Tezuka was so longing for Fuji to wake up
Wah, I didn't think of the second possibility XD;; nice interpretation!! thanks for giving me another view on that line XD;;

*hugs back*
thanks a lot for reading and giving such a nice comment <333

Date: 2008-07-04 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mitsu-syusuke.livejournal.com
finally,the sequel came!
this is really beautiful..
May I think that it is your hand covering mine? *love*

may i think that the breeze around tezuka is fuji? :D

Date: 2008-07-07 03:48 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (memories)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
heheh, yes, finally XD
thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you liked this <333

and yes, you may think that the breeze is Fuji. actualy, it's what on my mind too XD

Date: 2008-07-04 01:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isumi-ilde.livejournal.com
*in tears* Aaah.. I'm so relieved this has a happy ending.. I was very very very worried... *hugs Fuji, ditendang Tezuka*

Seneng banget, deh, a1y-senpai! Akhirnya pas hari trakhir orientasi (sblm pulang pagi ini) Isumi bisa baca.. hehehe... Isumi CINTA bgt sama sekuelnya! Favorit Isumi tuh yg Your Smile sama Dream. XD XD Yang Gentle Hands sama Door bikin nangis banget... hikkusu hikkusu...

"May I think that it is your hands covering mine?"

I LUUURRRVVVEEE that line!!!

Anyway, this is a very satisfying breakfast..! *burps* Hehehehe... thank you so much for making the sequel! Meskipun Fuji ngga dapet dialog, tapi presence-nya kerasa banget. SALUT!!

Date: 2008-07-07 04:20 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Real)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Aduh internet bodoh memakan reply saiia D:

anyway, whee~ glad you like it <333
wah, saiia membuat anak orang nangis lagi XD;;;

and glad you liked that line, I thought I made Tezuka really OOC with that sentence >.>
heheh...

makasih lagi~ aduh komentar dikau bikin saiia GR XD;;
(btw Fuji dpt dialog kok, di "Dream" XD;;)

Date: 2008-07-05 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] towel-master.livejournal.com
Love love LOVE!! *flail* This was brilliant. I love the breeze - it was a cute way to bring in Syuusuke. *happy sigh*

<3

Date: 2008-07-07 04:45 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (Fuji)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Wheee~ thanks so much for your keen comment <333
nad thanks a lot for reading :D

Date: 2009-09-20 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kazeyukiryusama.livejournal.com
Love the sequel ^___________^

Date: 2009-09-20 08:37 am (UTC)
ext_33114: (ILU)
From: [identity profile] a1y-puff.livejournal.com
Thanks! Glad you like it :D

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