This is a very interesting beginning. I like the dynamics between Tezuka and Fuji so far and I'm curious to know what happens next. I would suggest, as some constructive criticism, to check your verb tenses. You have them mixed from time to time and it's a bit distracting when reading.
You say you finished the story? Can I ask for a favor? would you send it to me? I'm leaving on vacation for a month on Sunday and I would love to read it before I go. If you don't want to or it's too much trouble, don't worry. I understand :) Thank you!
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Date: 2007-12-14 05:46 am (UTC)You say you finished the story? Can I ask for a favor? would you send it to me? I'm leaving on vacation for a month on Sunday and I would love to read it before I go. If you don't want to or it's too much trouble, don't worry. I understand :) Thank you!